The Gift Most Leaders Avoid: Honest Feedback
- Bernadette Cornelis
- Apr 7
- 2 min read
Most leaders want high-performing teams.
But many avoid the one thing that creates trust, clarity and real growth:
honest feedback.
Not sugar-coated.
Not passive-aggressive.
Not delivered six months too late during an annual review.
But clear, direct and human feedback - rooted in respect, not judgment.
Why do so many leaders avoid it ?
Because it’s uncomfortable.
Because we fear hurting others.
Because we’ve been conditioned to be “nice” instead of real.
But in truth, withholding feedback doesn’t protect people.
It keeps them stuck.
It creates confusion, tension and wasted potential.
And slowly, it erodes the very culture leaders try to build.
Feedback is not criticism. It's clarity.
It says: "I see you. I believe in your potential. And I care enough to be honest with you".
When done right, feedback creates breakthroughs. It helps people grow in ways they never imagined. It gives them the mirror they need, with courage and compassion.
So how can leaders give honest feedback that lands ?
Here’s what I can share:
Check your intention
Are you trying to control, blame or elevate yourself ?
Or are you inviting growth and alignment ?
Be specific, not vague
“You need to be better at communication” is useless.
“In meetings, your ideas are strong, but they often come too late and the team misses them” is helpful.
Speak in the moment
Don’t wait for the perfect time.
Own your perspective
Use “I” statements : “I noticed…”, “I felt…”, “I’m seeing a pattern that might be holding you back…”
Make it a two-way conversation
Feedback isn’t a monologue. It’s an invitation.
Ask: “How does that land for you ?” or “What’s your view on this ?”
Balance challenge with care
Feedback without care feels like judgment.
Care without challenge leads to mediocrity.
Great leaders do both.
Want a strong culture ? Start with authenticity
The strongest cultures are not the ones with the most perks or the smoothest slides.
They’re the ones where people speak the truth. Where feedback is normal, not terrifying. Where people feel seen, challenged and supported to grow.
And that starts with you.
Your honesty gives others permission to do the same.
Lead with clarity
Speak with courage
Build with authenticity
Comments